NOBODY READS THAT STUFF. WE need to cut out some of this copy." Your
client or manager says this and heads nod around the table. Of course. Self
evident. But not always true. A shorter e-mail is not necessarily a better
e-mail. I've done tests to prove it.
In a recent split test, response to a long e-mail was 35
percent higher than response (click-through rate) to the short version. In
another example, the lift was only 7 percent, but it was a lift nonetheless. I
have also done tests where the long and short versions had response rates that
were dead even. Here are some things to think about when crafting your copy.
Images Arrest, Copy Persuades. While a great visual
will capture attention, it cannot present an argument and motivate a reader to
act. That's the job of your copy.
If your story is simple and your brand equity high, you
don't need a lot of copy. We tried a simple postcard and a long, copy-heavy
announcement e-mail for the new model year launch of a well-known brand. The
results were even. All eager fans needed to know was that the new models were on
the site to get them there. In this case, the descriptive copy in the e-mail was
superfluous.
In another case, however, the offer was more complicated
and the payoff more obscure. It was difficult to convince the team that the
audience, who had not been thinking about the program 24/7 as the client had,
would need a lot of information in order to appreciate the offer. The additional
copy, in a graphically lackluster presentation, brought about the 35 percent
lift cited above.
Pull Me In. Readers are busy, impatient and selfish.
They skim your e-mail and make a split-second decision whether to bother with
it. If your copy is in big block paragraphs, it does not invite the reader in.
Use benefit-focused headlines and subheads to perform this very important
function. In business writing, subheads describe the copy that follows.
In persuasive writing, subheads tell why you should care about the copy
that follows. Last week I employed this simple principle to convince a client
that "Free Screensaver" was a more compelling subhead than "Thank you for
signing up."
Guide the Eye. Use classic direct-mail techniques to
make your copy skimable:
Bullets
Underlines
Italics
Bold print
Varying paragraph length, including one-sentence paragraphs
Indentation
Centered copy
Postscript (P.S.)
See how much more inviting that list is than a block
paragraph? (Remember that the purpose of this column is educational, so even
though I employ a few of the techniques presented, I am not trying to generate
response.)
How much copy should you include? As much as you
need to tell your story fully and clearly and present a compelling reason to
click. Do not make cutting copy a goal. Make creating interesting,
benefit-oriented, skimable copy your goal, and you too will see big lifts in
your response rates.
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